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The most common justification for infidelity is that women feel taken for granted. You discuss what the kids did in school and which bills need to be paid, when the car needs an oil change. But you haven't really talked in a while. You know, about all those things hopes, dreams, ideals that you spent hours discussing as you lay in each other's arms before you had kids, car payments and a mortgage. When a woman feels like little more than a household drudge, attention from someone else becomes extremely seductive. If there's a failure to communicate which is so reinforcing to women in terms of intimacy, emotional satisfaction and relationship satisfaction, then women look outside the relationship for that kind of connection. This is the most important reason women cheat. When you're unhappy or dissatisfied in your relationship, you're more likely to be tempted to look elsewhere.
You used to travel the same path side by side, but lately your interests have diverged. Your guy wants to shoot pool with his buddies or watch football during his free time; you'd rather go antiquing or watch British costume dramas. When you start doing things separately, your odds of connecting with others who share your interests increase, and soon you may suspect you have more in common with that guy you keep spotting at the Saturday revival showings of The English Patient than with your hubby.
Some women are in pretty good marriages. The kids are fine, the husband's okay, but she's bored and needs some excitement. And a casual affair may put some zing back in her days. It's something new, different and exciting. A cheating woman seeks the thrill of the chase and to see if she can get away with it.
A corollary to fizzling passion occurs when the romance fades and you realize your guy is not the fantasy man you fell in love with. Instead, he's a mass of irksome habits that are starting to get under your skin. Women who have false illusions tend to end up cheating because they never really knew the guy to begin with, or hoped he would change. When a woman's Prince Charming turns out to be a frog, women often cheat in hopes of finding a new prince.
Women can be in a relationship with a perfectly wonderful, loving man and still need extra affirmation that she's got it going on. Sleeping with someone else is an easy way to remind yourself that you're desirable. Even if her partner is reassuring, for whatever reason, it's not enough.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, as the saying goes. And when a woman catches her man with his hand in someone else's cookie jar, she figures she's got a right to a little indulgence of her own. If a woman finds out her significant other has been cheating, she may heal those hurt feelings by having sex with another man.
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